eXonyte's Realm - Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama Jokes

she tried to get Polaroid film developed. (from Eric)
she tries to kill fish by drowning them. (from Dave Abbot)
she thinks DNA is the National Dyslexics Association.
the psychic friends only charge her half price to read her mind.
she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
she thought a cell phone was what inmates talked on.
her wig has a chinstrap!
she thought menopause was a button on her tape player.
she put the operator on speed dial.
when you asked her if she wanted the window seat on your latest airplane ride, she replied, "I'd better not, I just had my hair fixed."
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she sleep.
she calls beepers collect!
that when they said, "order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
it takes her an hour to cook Minute rice.
she can't make Kool-Aid cause she can't figure out how to get all that water in that little package.
she thinks chicken pot pie contains marijuana. (from LimeGirl)
you can keep her busy if you give her a piece of paper with "turn over" on both sides.
you can keep her busy if you put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.
that she brought a cup to the movie Juice.
that she sold the car for gas money.
she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes
she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
she ran into a parked car.
she sold her car to buy brand new tires.
she thinks she is smart.
fat and stupid her waist is bigger than her I.Q.
I caught her looking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
she thought a hot meal was stolen food.
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays.
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog.
she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
she invented a water-proof teabag.
she invented a wheelchair with pedals.
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's.
if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get back change.
she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.
she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico.
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate".
she thought Beirut was a famous home run hitter.
she calls pagers collect.
tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
she went to drug rehab because she thought she was Hooked on Phonics.
they had to burn her school down just to get her out of 2nd grade.
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?".
she stands up on an empty bus.
when you were born, she looked at the umbilical cord and said, "Hey, it comes with cable."
she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
she hops the turnstyle when she gets OFF the train.
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color.
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
she saw a "Wet Floor" sign, so she took a pee.
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed.
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor.
I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
she thought Cheerios were donut seeds.
she thought Meow Mix was a dance album for cats.
I asked her to go to Subway's for two heroes and she came back with Batman and Robin.
I taught her how to do the "Running Man", and I haven't seen her since.
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops.
someone told her to take out the trash, so she moved out of the house.
she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills.
she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house!
she married your daddy.
she cooks with Old Spice.
I know she's been using my computer when I see the White-Out on my screen.
she thinks its the ice cubes that keeps the fridge cold
she took toilet paper to a craps game.
she brought a knife to a shoot out
she called me to ask me for my phone number.
she failed a urine test.
when she saw Jesus walk across the water she said, "It's gotta be the shoes."
she jumped through a window to see what was on the other side.
she tripped over a cordless phone.
she got trapped in a grocery store and starved to death
she put make-up on her forehead to make up her mind!
she heard it was chilly outside, she took a spoon.
she got hit by a parked car.
she had your brother thrown in rehab, cause he was Hooked on Phonics
she thinks MCI is a rapper
she called information to get the number to 911
she asked her boss how to spell UPS
she couldn't find eleven when trying to dial 911
she thought Boys II Men was a day care center
she saw a sign saying 2 cookies for a dollar, so she threw down 2 cookies and asked "where's my dollar?"
she thinks elevators are mobile homes
she thought Malcom X was Malcom the tenth
she jumped out the window and fell up

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